When dealing with a chronic invisible illness you get used to getting lots of negative comments. Sometimes I wish I could forget about social niceties and give a cheeky answer. I must not be alone in this because at But you don't look sick .com they've come up with a list of these cheeky replies to "But you don't LOOK sick".
Here are some of my faves:
Oh Good.... That is just the look I was going for!
Maybe it's Maybelline.
Really? (Look down at yourself) I'm cured!!!
I don't look ( Insert age here) either, but it doesn't change the fact I am!
How sweet of you to say that. I've been so tired, I haven't bathed in three days. And I was sort of worried about going out in public looking like this. So thanks for the compliment. It's really made my day.
I work hard to look this good.
Are you flirting with me?
Good to know that the 4 hours it took me to get out of bed, and get ready this morning wasn't wasted!
Thanks! Funny, knowing that I don't look sick, gives me a new appreciation and patience for the people I might meet who look healthy and may not be.
What exactly does (insert illness) look like?
Would a bit of vomit help? Because I'm feeling quiet nauseous.
I wish I could come up with my own - or even pre-empt them by wearing a tshirt or something - but most of the time I'm lucky if I can make it out the door to see these people. It feels so strange to get dirty looks from seniors when you can't let them have my seat on a bus, or run to open the door for them. Some days I wish I had brought my cane, or had a cast or something that made my illness more visible so that they would be more sympathetic and understanding instead of being so judgemental. Then I try to trun this around and make sure that I am being the most understanding of others that I can - because they can't see that I am sore and sick - so I need to cut them some slack. And maybe they're sick too and I need to be sensitive to their needs too.
It is difficult though to have the elderly pass me with their walkers, or seeing them be so active in the community enjoying their supposed frailty. I wonder what life will be like for me later on, if I already feel so feeble?
4 comments:
I hear you! If I hear one more time, "But he won't like DIE right now if eats it right, so I can give him a taste?" from someone presuming to know more about my son's Celiac Disease than I do...
Too bad I'm not much of a cheeky person!
If I am really ill I don't go out so no one sees me when I look like death warmed up. If I'm out it usually means I'm having a slightly better hour or two. Before and after I'm back looking like a tepid corpse. It's hard to explain that to people. I want to be tolerant but somedays I'd love to just whack them. It goes along with the helpful medical advice you get from the 'experts' who have no real idea of what's wrong with you.
I know just what you mean! It's really frustrating when an 80 year old person passes me by like I'm standing still or yeah the bus thing - well, I've got a special pass saying I can sit in the front seats - it's most of the teenagers that shouldn't be sitting there!
Not exactly the same idea as an illness but we used to have a similar situation when we had the twins.
"Are they twins?" "Yes."
"But they don't look alike!" "You noticed that, too, eh?"
It got tiresome after a while...
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